I stare back at my reflection in the mirror and spot the newly sprouted grey hairs that seemed to have grown overnight. My once brunette hairline quickly morphed into a grey and brown striped mixture within the past nine months. The lines on my face look a little deeper, and the bags under my eyes are a shade darker than normal. The stress had already taken a toll on my mental health, sleep quality, and general well-being, but now it was coming for my physical appearance.
This was back in February 2023. Little did I know at the time that my life would quickly pull a 180 within the next two months and lead to the best news Bill and I had been waiting for. Fast forward to today, and the reason why I’m writing this post:
We’ve been keeping a secret.
In my most recent life update post, I shared the big news that we had purchased a home after a year-long search. While I thought that would be the best news for our family this year, I have an even bigger announcement to share:
Bill and I are becoming parents! Baby B is due in December 2023!
It turns out that buying a house was the life event we needed for us to finally get pregnant with our first baby.
Backstory
A little backstory on our journey to becoming parents and the stress I was experiencing leading up to the positive pregnancy test. I’ll preface this by stating I’ve always considered myself a relatively private person. Opening up like this can be a little challenging for me, but I truly believe that sharing our experiences can be incredibly powerful and healing. Here we go…
Bill and I began dating in 2015 in our early to mid-twenties and enjoyed experiencing that exciting era of life together. We initially bonded over our shared sense of adventure, amongst other shared passions, and actively prioritized traveling and experiencing new things together. As we grew older, our sense of adventure hadn’t faded, but other priorities started to take form. We’ve been able to build a strong foundation as a couple as a result of our values and core life goals being aligned. Kids were always part of the plan; it was just a matter of when.
The pandemic was a very enlightening time for us. I referenced it in my previous post about buying our home, but the lockdown forced us to give our timeline on home ownership and babies a good, hard look. While many couples decided the pandemic was the right time to “not social distance” and start their families, we had the opposite reaction. Bill and I realized that we needed a few more adventures under our belt before we would be ready for kids. And boy, oh boy, we had some fantastic adventures leading up to the positive pregnancy test.
You might be thinking, “That’s great, Caitlin. You traveled a bunch and then got pregnant when you were ready”. If only it were that simple.
As a millennial woman who grew up in the Midwest, we were fed a lot of misinformation about pregnancy and family planning. Some highlights include:
- “The second you go off birth control, you’ll get pregnant.”
- “It’s so easy to get pregnant, which is why you need to take extra precautions before the age of 35.”
- “Just have fun while you’re trying for the first year, and things will fall into place. Don’t stress!”
- “If your mom or sister got pregnant quickly, you will too.”
- “If a guy looks at you funny, you’ll get pregnant.”
While that last one is obviously a joke, this is just a sampling of the countless pieces of misinformation that were shared with the women of my generation that all have one underlying falsehood: getting pregnant is easy. And for some lucky women, it certainly can be an easier experience. For others, it’s a challenging and emotional process that takes time and money.
I found myself falling somewhere in the middle of the fertility spectrum.
Our Fertility Journey
I want to preface this section by saying that fertility is a very sensitive topic, and everyone has their own experience and feelings that are completely valid. I’m also not a medical professional, fertility expert, or midwife. I’m simply a travel blogger sharing my personal experience.
As I alluded to in the opening paragraph of this post and the caption on this Instagram post, the end of 2022 and early 2023 was a less-than-ideal period of my life. My corporate role isn’t something I share much about, but during the months we began trying for a baby, I entered into one of the most stressful periods of my career. I was working long hours and weekends on a consistent basis. I was responsible for handling sensitive information that began to weigh me down and interfere with my sleep at night (hello, work-related nightmares).
In addition to the work pressure I was dealing with, Bill and I were also in the midst of a year-long house hunt while simultaneously living with his parents during the process. I discuss this in more detail in my previous post, but the high-level overview is this: house hunting in a volatile, competitive market is incredibly stressful.
The cherry on top of this perfect storm was the fertility issue. Bill and I had decided long before we knew about my job craziness and prolonged house hunt that we would begin trying for a baby. The advice my (former) doctor gave me was to “just have fun trying for the first year and don’t put any pressure on yourself.” Sure, the initial months may be “fun,” but the enjoyment fades when desired outcomes aren’t achieved.
I ditched the “have fun” mentality early on and started to learn about fertility and tracking my cycle in the Flo app. I stopped going to hot yoga, began monitoring the foods I was eating, and implemented the use of ovulation test strips in hopes of getting a positive pregnancy test. Unfortunately, my efforts were in vain since the culprit behind our fertility struggles was a result of stress.
The turning point for us was after the work stress started to subside, and we signed the contract on our house. My health slowly began to improve; I was sleeping better at night, the dark circles under my eyes lightened, and some of the heaviness endured over the past nine months started to lift off my shoulders. It was right around that same time when, in my eyes, a miracle happened. I finally got the positive pregnancy test I had been dreaming about, and I was officially pregnant.
First Trimester
Pregnancy has been a beautiful and challenging journey throughout each trimester. Telling Bill that I was pregnant was one of those rare moments in my life that I will never forget. Sharing the news with our friends and family still brings a smile to my face. The challenges I faced were some of the classics you hear and read about but pray you never experience yourself. The nausea and exhaustion hit me like a ton of bricks. There were days when I could barely stomach anything besides saltines and water. I began sleeping in longer and napping whenever I needed it. As someone who has been a go-getter for most of her life, this transition was very challenging for me.
Second Trimester
As I transitioned into the second trimester, the first trimester nausea unfortunately continued to linger on. Once it subsided, I began to experience the benefit of the second trimester that everyone hypes up. My energy and appetite returned, and I felt more like my pre-pregnancy self. Bill and I took this opportunity to start tackling some house projects finally, and we spent every free weekend wandering the aisles of Home Depot, shopping for furniture, and getting quotes on projects.
We also traveled to the Pacific Northwest for our babymoon. We spent ten days exploring British Columbia, Mount Rainier National Park, Olympic National Park, and Seattle. The downside of this trimester for me personally was finding anything to wear. It felt like clothing was the enemy since I was slightly too big for my pre-pregnancy clothes and slightly too small for the maternity clothing options. Aside from the limited fashion choices, I can understand why people say that the second trimester is the best trimester.
Third Trimester
As I entered into the third trimester of pregnancy, the Flo app on my phone shared the exciting announcement that I would be meeting my baby this trimester. When I read that, it finally started to feel very real that our lives would be changing soon. We’ve picked up the pace regarding our house projects as our due date quickly approaches. While it’s been a little hectic, it’s been fun to see our house slowly shape into the home we dreamed of.
Physically, one of the most remarkable changes is how active the baby has become. Baby B moves a ton throughout the day and night, and it’s a surreal and amazing feeling. The downside is the baby’s middle-of-the-night gymnastics routines that wake me up. Speaking of sleep, that has become a significant challenge in the third trimester. Sleeping on my side has led to hip and shoulder pain, regardless of the number of pillows I surround myself with. It seems Baby B is training me for the sleepless newborn life I’ll be experiencing soon enough.
Final Thoughts
While I’m a little nervous about this significant life change, I’m mainly excited. There were times throughout my life when I wasn’t sure if kids were in the cards for me. But now that I’m a little over a month away from becoming a mother, I know that this is something I’m meant to do. I’m so grateful that I’ve gotten to experience this journey with Bill. He’s been an amazing support system for me during my pregnancy, and I can’t wait to watch him grow into his new role as a dad.
If my story spoke to you in any way or if you have had a similar experience, I’d love to hear from you! Please leave a comment below, and let’s connect.
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