I place the chocolate cupcake, adorned with a lit candle in the shape of the number two, in front of my daughter, who seems incredibly puzzled by why everyone is staring at her. I’m surrounded by Minnie Mouse decor, my Christmas tree to my left, and my entire immediate family to my right. The crowd starts to sing the classic “Happy Birthday” tune to the adorable creature in front of me, who’s about to celebrate her second birthday in less than a week. Time continues to be the greatest thief, and motherhood has spotlighted it in more ways than one. But like clockwork, we’ve arrived in December yet again, and I get the opportunity to reflect on the previous year spent with my favorite gal.
As I shared in my first iteration of this adventures in parenthood post from last year, I have been pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoy being a mom and how natural it has been for me to step into this role. I’ve been notoriously independent my whole life, and I was never certain what my family planning journey would look like. But when my daughter entered the scene, a new version of me came to life in ways I could have never possibly imagined.
The Early Months
As we blew out the candle on my daughter’s first birthday, I had a strong feeling that we were in for a rollercoaster of a year. Growing from a baby into a toddler is no small feat – there are many developmental changes that take place between year one and two. In the beginning half of her second year, she really started to come into her own as a little human.
She began to develop more independence, preferences, and her verbal and nonverbal communication skills blossomed. The first time she clearly said “hi” to us nearly made my heart burst with how incredibly sweet that moment was. We started spending more and more time outside as the weather warmed, and she discovered a deep passion for the outdoors. The number of times we walked laps around our block was astronomical over the past 12 months. As a mom, I felt my confidence grow with every passing day spent with my girl, witnessing her tiny steps of growth turn into big leaps.
Big Feelings, Bigger Growth
And then we hit the tantrum era. This is when the full force of the toddler tornado hit our household, stretching both mine and Bill’s patience paper-thin. My daughter began to experience her big feelings, which led to full-blown toddler meltdowns. And boy oh boy, did we have our fair share of some new big feelings this year. Below is a non-exhaustive list of some actions that led to a toddler breakdown:
- She was taken out of her sleep sack before she was ready.
- Mom sat down on the wrong spot on the floor.
- Dad wouldn’t allow her to eat crayons, chalk, or markers.
- We booked a family photo shoot, and she was upset that the camera was taking her photo.
- Mom forces her to wear socks and shoes literally anywhere.
- The ocean simply existing.
- The carpet cleaner for existing and for the noise it makes.
- Her taco bowl wasn’t a regular taco.
- Dad helped her try on a new pair of snow pants so she could play outside.
- Mom requested to use the bathroom in privacy.
- The fact that she needs to brush her teeth twice a day.
- She was served a meal without any cheese or crackers.
I’ll admit, a few of these moments did give me a good laugh after the fact at that absolute absurdity of the situation. But most of the time, I tried my best to keep my cool and help her work through her feelings in a way that let her know she was seen and safe, while also not coddling her. The sheer amount of patience, kindness, and understanding that’s required in moments like these can feel overwhelming. However, it has led to substantial personal growth for both Bill and me, as we’ve learned to navigate the ups and downs of toddlerhood together, fostering a deeper connection and understanding within our family. Additionally, it reminds me of the importance of maintaining a sense of humor amidst the chaos.
A Little Person Emerges
As we entered into the latter portion of my daughter’s second year, I was truly taken aback by the tiny human before my eyes. Physically, she maintained the sweetest smile and sparkling eyes, but her round baby face had more definition than before. She’s much more mobile these days and enjoys walking up and down the stairs (supervised, of course), riding her bike, and doing “yoga”. Her speech development is off the charts, and she started piecing together three-word sentences at rapid-fire. Sometimes I have no clue what she’s trying to communicate to us, and I wish there were a thought bubble over her head so I could understand her. Some of the things she says and the tidbits she remembers leave me both stunned and impressed.
The most rewarding part of this season is witnessing her personality and preferences develop. She loves all things Minnie Mouse, coloring, Moana, reading books (usually featuring Minnie Mouse or Moana), being outside, shopping at Target, helping dad cook in the kitchen, singing with mom, and running around with her cousins. Overall, she’s a pretty happy and bright kid, and I love that I get to call her mine.
Motherhood This Year
Reflecting on my first year as a mother, I would describe that year with the word “strength.” As I reflect on this past year of motherhood, I’m inclined to describe this year using the word “patience.” With so many major developmental milestones and increasing independence between years one and two, patience is literally a necessity during this phase of parenthood. I’m naturally an extremely patient person, but even I had a few breaking points throughout the year. During those moments, I was deeply grateful to have a partner like Bill by my side. I’ve struggled with asking for help most of my life (my independence rearing its ugly head again), but this year forced me to get uncomfortable and ask for help on many occasions. It’s true what they say: it takes a village to raise kids, especially toddlers.
That village came in handy when Bill and I booked our first vacation without her. Both of us knew after our first year of parenthood that we would need a little time away to reconnect as a couple and enjoy a trip on our own schedule and pace. So we booked a flight back to one of the most amazing destinations that we both adore: Kauai.
Part of me felt pangs of guilt as we packed for our getaway, knowing she would be staying with her grandparents. That guilt grew as the day before our departure, she came down with a nasty case of hand, foot, and mouth (IYKYK, and if you don’t know, don’t look it up). Because there’s almost nothing that makes you feel more like a crappy parent than handing over your sick child so another person can watch them while you sit on the beach and drink a mai tai. With my family’s encouragement, we dropped our daughter off with her grandparents and boarded a flight to Kauai. It was a trip that truly revitalized us, reigniting our spirits in many ways. We’re grateful to our family for helping make that journey possible.
The Joy That Made It All Worth It
Toddlerhood gets a pretty bad rap – and honestly, I understand why. The tantrums, endless energy, and communication hurdles are very real. And yet, I found myself genuinely loving this year with my daughter. The highs far outweighed the occasional lows, and watching her curiosity expand made even the hardest days feel worth it. One of the ways we nurtured that curiosity was by continuing to show her new places, helping her grow comfortable in unfamiliar settings, and she thrived.
This year took us on a handful of meaningful adventures together. We traveled to Kiawah Island, South Carolina, for a large family trip celebrating a milestone birthday for my in-laws, where she experienced the ocean for the very first time – equal parts wonder and sheer terror – and conquered her first family road trip: over 17 hours in the car, each way. Later in the summer, we spent a long weekend exploring Galena, Illinois, where she visited a farm, helped milk a cow, fed goats, and proudly pet a chicken. As fall arrived, we escaped to Saugatuck, Michigan, for a cozy lakeside weekend filled with great meals, pumpkin patches, and slow, quiet moments together. These trips weren’t just about travel; they were about watching her take in the world, one new experience at a time.
In addition to our travels, the moments that stand out to me from this past year are the times she showed spontaneous affection, catching us off guard in the most beautiful ways. I will never forget the first time she grabbed my hand while we walked around the block, the first time she intentionally kissed us, and the first time she said, “I love you.” One of the highlights of this year has been our weekend mornings when Bill brings her into our bed for family cuddles after we all wake up. These simple, heartfelt moments make each day feel like a gift.
Looking Ahead: Entering Year Three
As we look ahead to our daughter’s third year, I’m filled with the same sense of pride I felt last year. Parenting is a tough gig, full of ups and downs, and while there are plenty of parenting books, there’s no official manual. I’m proud of the growth that each person in my family experienced this past year. Our daughter blossomed into an amazing little human, and mine and Bill’s patience, communication, and teamwork skills expanded to meet the needs of said little human. This year was a testament to the fact that loving motherhood and finding it hard can coexist. I plan to take that mindset with me into this year, especially as we navigate the “terrible twos.”
I’m excited for the upcoming year ahead as we continue to show our daughter the world, allowing her curiosity and wonder to grow. As always, I am grateful for my family’s health and thankful for the community that helps keep us afloat. And don’t worry, there are plenty more travel guides featuring toddler travel anecdotes and tips coming in the new year!
Leave a Reply